BRING DOWN THE GATE & TURN 'EM OFF: GIVING TECH A BREAK

Recently, NPR's The Takeaway featured a segment, Why Technology May Be Killing Your Relationship. Anyone else catch it? Do you agree?

My from-scratch shortcakes, to be topped with farmer's market raspberries, were baking and I was idly washing dishes. I'd flipped on NPR for a little mental stimulation.

The topic was a popular one for debate these days. Yet, I found solid info and fresh insights. New take - beyond usual pooh-oohing of overdependence on technology.

Couples & Their Phones

Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist specializing in couples counseling, stated, “So often, couples are really having side-by-side conversations—they’re not having direct face-to-face conversations because they’re also on an iPhone or a gadget, so they’re partially vacated."

Made me think of people I know. And random people whose paths I've crossed in life.

People can be so obsessed with their gadgets, can't they? I've seen people totally oblivious to partners as squint at their phones and tap away to whomever, whenever, wherever....

Photo Mania

And don't get me started on the obsession to record every single moment of life. Of course, new parents are keen to capture firsts as well as whimsical moments of everyday life. Precious moments frozen in time to share with generations to come.

Ian's amusing anecdote illustrates my observation so well:

“I was just dealing recently with a couple where the wife was sort of sublimating a lot of energy into Instagram,” says Kerner. “She was always taking photos of the family, of their outings, of their vacations and meals—the whole family calls her ‘Paparazzi’ as a nickname because she’s always snapping photos of everything.”

Eventually, Kerner says, this woman’s husband reached a breaking point, something they discussed in a counseling session.

“They had a huge fight because they were out on vacation getting ice cream,” he says. “The husband just wanted to eat his ice cream, and the wife was like, ‘Hold on, hold on, I want to get the perfect shot of all the ice creams and the perfect shot of all of us eating the ice cream.’ He wanted to take a bite of his ice cream and he couldn’t, and finally he just erupted.”

The husband yelled, cursed and caused a public scene. If you’re seeing visions of yourself in that fight, you’re not alone.

Can you see yourself in this scene?

Concert Crazies

How about that sea of phone cameras trained on a performer? How much you miss of that full sensory performance when all you're experiencing is a tiny screen image! And how many people ever rewatch those concerts?

So happy I experienced rich memorable concerts - Led Zeppelin, Sting, Amnesty International concert, Dan Fogelberg, Adam Lambert, etc. - with full, unfettered sight lines.

Gadget Obsession

I thought how often that applies to friends and associates, not just people in a loving relationship.

The following snippet from one commenter painted such a clear picture. The last sentence so poignant - and probably true in many homes today.

Our bed is crowded with tablet, iPhone and laptop. My husband uses them all. I don't like it, but he's cool with it. He touches his phone, not me, first thing in the morning.

Another commenter summed it all up so beautifully and poignantly: My 4 year old son calls-out me and my wife all the time, "Put down your phone...I want you". Even when it feels like you only glance at your phone, your attention is not focused on the life happening around you. You only take this ride once.

So, in weeks to come, let's all be a bit more mindful of that little boy's innocent cry, "Put down your phone...I want you."

OK, yes, you still can take that random photo of the last boat ride at the cabin before closing it for winter. Or make a Vine of joy-filled fun at your upcoming family wedding! And you can still savor and share photo of that something-on-a-stick at the MN State Fair.

So, will you take challenge to take a small break from your gadgets? Or at least be mindful of the time they take away from growing more beautiful relationships with each other. Who knows what wonders might appear...

This photo was taken by Linda Sorenson at a Swiss castle (possibly Kyburg Castle where I was dazzled by scent of fresh chives) during college Eurospring year.

Linda Sorenson helps people, projects, and causes make a positive impact. As a writer, editor, and consultant, she draws on unique global experiences at pivotal moments in time to make a joyful difference through all she creates. Puppets, songs, and active fun of her Organic Puppet Theatre: Health Activities Book workshops, shows, camps, etc. have helped 20,000+ young children value their bodies and get healthier and more active around the world Learn more at her website and then connect with her. Take flight together today!